You can use these sample conversations as a starting place when approaching a friend about his or her drug problem.

Hey. You know how much I love you right? I'm going to bring up one of those uncomfortable subjects right now and I need you to just pretend like this isn't an awkward subject for both of us and just hear me out, ok? It's one of those things I've been noticing for a really long time and I haven't known how to tell you, but I think you're starting to lose control with the whole drug thing.

I mean, I know people use stuff sometimes, and I'm not judging you or telling you what's right or wrong. It's not a decision anyone can make for you. But the fact is there are things in your life that should matter, and I don't feel like you're really taking care of those things anymore. Like your friends. Or your grades, or your boyfriend, your after school job, your health. You're one of my best friends and I need to know that you're going to be ok. The truth is, if it was just any one thing I'd let it go. I've let this go for too long already.

OR

Hey, what's going on with you? We need to figure this alcohol (drug) thing out. I'm struggling with this too, so you know I'm not judging you. Do you remember when …..happened? It was out of control. So what's going on? Are you worried about it like I am?

We're kids. We all do stupid things. Now I'm not judging you on the things you put into your body-that's not my place, but drugs or no drugs, you've turned into someone who's impossible to be around. I'm not angry, but I am hurt, and disappointed, and I'm worried about you. You're driving people away and you are putting yourself in dangerous situations, making decisions you would never make if your judgment wasn't clouded by the drugs (or alcohol). You are also putting yourself and everyone around you-friends as well as strangers-at risk.

If you're having trouble at home-get help. If you're depressed, you need to talk to someone. If you're doing this because you think it makes you seem cool then you need to know right now that it's not cool. You're hurting yourself and everyone around you. You're losing sight of your priorities, yes, but worse than that you are putting yourself and others in physical danger.

I'm not the only one worried about you, and the truth is we all know you know better, I'm just the one who's not afraid to say it. Because If I lose you over this, I lose you. You're not the person I made friends with when I met you if you'd walk away from this. I trust you to eventually make the right choice, but I can't wait for it any more, because I no longer feel safe around you. Please make some changes before you lose everything that matters to you. When you're ready to talk about making a difference in your own life, come find me. I'd be so happy to help you get started.

I wonder what's going on with you, because I think you're really starting to mess up your life. I mean, I know that we're not kids anymore and no one can tell us what to do, but I'm concerned about you.

It's like you're someone else when you're on stuff. And the people who love you don't know you anymore. I just thought you should know what this looks like to the people in your life and what you stand to lose. You have so much going for you-so many people who love you. And are you going to throw that all away for some easy temporary escape? I mean, doesn't that bother you-to know how much you're giving up? It bothers me.

OR

So I know you've been using for a while, and I wasn't going to say anything because I didn't think it was any of my business. I mean, I'm not here to judge your choices or what you need to help you get through all the problems in your life. But if things are that bad-if you need help-this isn't the way to fix your life. And if things really have gone this far then maybe you need someone else to help you out.

You know that you've got people here for you. You've got your friends-me, our group. You've got some family you can trust. I'm not saying that any of us could have dealt better with what you've had to live through the last few years-the fact that you've made it as far as you have on your own is impressive. But some things are bigger than us, and some problems can't be solved by friends, or love, or by self-medicating. If drugs are what you need to help you through this then we'll help you get them, but not illegal drugs-- with the help of a Doctor who understands the dangers of medication. And maybe you don't even need drugs. Maybe you need someone like a therapist to talk to. Maybe you need for something to change, and there are people who can help with that too. Maybe I'm one of them. At least talk to me, and we can start from there.
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If your friend responds with one of the following arguments after your conversation about his or her drug use, try the following conversations.

Your friend says:

Response:

You are right, it is none of my business. This decision is up to you. The only reason I have said anything at all, is because of our history together and because it feels awful to lose a friend. I couldn't live with myself if I just watched you and kept quiet. I'd like to help, if you would let me.

Your friend says:

Response:

I know I have problems, too. I've screwed up plenty, but I'm trying to straighten things out. I just want you to know I'm your friend and I just want to make sure things are good with you. Even if you shut me out, I know you are still hearing me. Let's work on this together.

Your friend says:

Well, if you were scared by your friend's actions, what would YOU do? Seems to me that if you are a good friend, sometimes you take a step back and try to see how to help. I've already tried to help you by myself. It hasn't worked. I think this problem is beyond me….and probably beyond you too. Which is why I'd like to bring in an adult. We both need some help here.

OR

Well, not being your friend is better than seeing you hurt yourself. This has gotten scary, which is I why I wanted an adult to know.